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Date: 2014-04-06 08:56 am (UTC)
From: [personal profile] contraspirit
PRECIPITATION was not only the first of your stories I've read but it was kind of my introduction to fanfiction in general and it was a good one. I was really surprised by the professionalism and sophistication of your writing style and the obvious amount of research you've put into the story. And you created such suspenseful and exciting scenes like Veronica's pursuit by the mobsters or her rape confession to her father that really resonated with me.
The characters are fleshed out in a very convincing way and with really emotional result, their interactions are believable and fascinating. Futhermore the sex scenes are not only steamy but really creatively written, imo quite an improvement to the ones in YLD 1+2 (that I read later).
What I didn't like that much was the story itself. The whole plot seemed a bit far fetched and it jumped the shark quite often. I frequently asked myself why someone would go to such great lengths and hunt the Mars-family across the whole country for the comparatively petty felonies. And it's hard to imagine the lovable charlatan Vinnie (who I was quite fond of in the series) as such a hard boiled enforcer. And the danger that Gory presented did never really convince me. One reason might be that I watched the movie shortly before and was left with the knowledge that in RT's canon none of the unsolved mysteries and dangers of the last episode of the seris eventually really mattered.
Nevertheless I enjoyed the novel (would you agree with calling your longer stories novels?) very much and despite my criticism it left quite an emotional impact on me. And I really would like to read a sequel with these more mature and experienced characters.
And btw, I prefer the original ending without the epilogue (which I've read anyway).
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