https://mashable.com/article/3-types-of-tinder-users

Finding potential partners on dating apps who want the same things as you can be a grueling task — especially if you’re out for a relationship. It can feel deeply disappointing when someone you’ve spent hours talking to keeps making excuses for not meeting up. Why do they bother crafting sparkling text conversation over a series of weeks if they won’t actually take you on a date?
A new study published in Cyberpsychology: Journal of Psychosocial Research on Cyberspace may have the answer. Researchers from Miguel Hernández University of Elche in Spain studied the motives of Tinder users and how this lined up with the ‘dark tetrad’ set of personality traits of narcissism, Machiavellianism, psychopathy, and sadism. The dark tetrad personality theory suggests that people with these traits lean toward antisocial, impulsive, and dangerous behavior. Researchers also looked at sociosexual orientation (their attitude toward casual sex).
Although it was a small study of 200 people, most of whom were women, three groups with distinct reasons for using the app were revealed.
In it for love (and not dark)
These people (41 percent) were looking to find a partner. They were named the “non-dark and non-sociosexual” group because they scored low for dark traits and sociosexuality (aka they weren’t particularly open to casual sex — which the study defined as “to have sex one night only"). This group were the most likely to use the app to form relationships. This contrasts Tinder's own research which states that 69 percent of people who use the app are looking for something serious.
In it for sex (and kinda dark)
The second-largest group (39 percent) were using the app to have casual sex. Which in itself is no bad thing. But this lot were coined the “slightly narcissistic and sociosexual" group because they also had the highest levels of narcissism (vanity, superiority, and a constant pursuit of validation and ego reinforcement). They also showed moderate levels of Machiavellianism (manipulativeness, self-interest, and an indifference to morality) and psychopathy (lack of empathy, impulsivity, and antisocial behavior).
In it for themselves (and super dark)
The remaining 20 percent were on the app for distraction, entertainment, social approval, to get over an ex, practice their social skills, and be fashionable. They showed the highest levels across all the dark traits but were particularly high in psychopathy and sadism. Interestingly, they weren’t that bothered about casual sex and became known as the “high-dark and slightly sociosexual” group.
The importance of these findings
Previous research has linked dark traits to antisocial behaviors like bullying, trolling, sextortion, and sexual aggression. So the theory goes that people with those traits are the most likely to use — and abuse — dating apps for sexual gain. “The findings appear to challenge that,” says psychotherapist Toby Ingham.
Although the largest group of users are in it for love, those who are in it for sex and themselves far outnumber them. You’d be forgiven for fearing that the non-problematic dating app users are becoming evermore rare. But more research would need to be done to say that this is, for sure, the reality. A Tinder spokesperson said, “As the authors acknowledge, this study is based on a small, female-skewed sample of 200 people — including individuals who don’t currently use Tinder. It is inappropriate and misleading to draw broader conclusions about the dating intentions of Tinder’s 47 million monthly active users.”
Hilda Burke, a psychotherapist and author of The Phone Addiction Workbook, doesn’t think they tell us much about the overall state of dating apps. “There’s a perception of Tinder as where you go for a bit of fun. Extrapolating the findings to dating apps more generally would be false. They may say something about those who use Tinder, but not about what people are looking for in general these days,” she says.
Ingham thinks it may be less a question of whether bad actors outnumber honest users and more one of the power and influence that online platforms give to disenfranchised people. “They also come at a time of heightened attention on the way social media may be having a destructive effect, particularly in areas concerning men, women and dating,” he adds.
So, what can we take from the findings? “They may help us find our way around dating apps more safely,” says Ingham. “They remind us that there are complicated people out there and that we need to be careful when we use these platforms.”
How to tell what type of dating app user someone is
The challenge here is that dark traits are tricky to spot. “They’ll probably be completely invisible when you’re engaging through an app,” warns Burke. “Because a lot of initial courtship is virtual, there’s also the possibility of fantasy and imagining the person’s someone they're not. You may only see the red flags in real life.”
There are some potential signs of these behaviors that you can look out for. But Burke adds an important caveat: “We can’t insulate ourselves from getting disappointed, getting heartbroken, or getting with the wrong person. We want hacks to get around it, but risk and being hurt is part of dating and part of life.”
How to tell if they’re in it for love (and not dark)
They meet you in real life
“Willingness to meet is the first clue. You can narrow down the field considerably based on that. It’s important to meet within a reasonable timeframe…within a couple of weeks,” Burke explains. “Get out of the fantasy stage. Don't nurse these communication threads for months. Not meeting up leads to greater projection.”
They talk about what they want
Whatever you're looking for, be honest and ask them to be. “We know people don't always tell the truth, so there’s no guarantee you won’t get disappointed. But by opening the conversation up, there's less chance,” Burke says.
They speak on the phone (or over voice note)
“With a phone call, you get their tone of voice. It's better than text where you really don't know what you're dealing with,” she continues.
They spend quality time with you
After that, it’s all about putting the time in. Burke adds, “There's no shortcut. It takes a while to get to know a person and to see their traits emerge.”
How to tell if they’re in it for sex (and kinda dark)
There’s nothing wrong with someone using a dating app for hookups, as long as they’re honest about it from the get-go. But the study reveals that narcissists are likely to use the app for this reason and may charm or manipulate people into casual sex.
They show off in their photos
“Putting up pictures that are very about their physicality or achievements, like standing on a podium at a TED Talk, as a talking head on the TV” is a potential sign, Burke says. “It's trying to give the impression of a kind of ‘Übermensch. ’ Although it doesn’t necessarily mean the person is an actual narcissist.”
They want to rush things
If you don’t want casual sex, make that part of the conversation. “Are they OK with that? How would they feel about waiting a few weeks or months so you can get to know each other first?” Burke says. If they want to have sex straight away and won’t wait at all, you've got your answer. “These conversations can be difficult, but at least then you can make an informed choice,” she adds. Ingham agrees. “If we go slowly, with luck, some of the dark folk will lose patience with us.”
They’re only available for sex
“You can get a lot of information from what someone is available for and when they’re available. Are all their messages just sexual chat at night time? If you want that, great,” says Burke. If you’re looking for something that’s not just about sex? This tells you everything you need to know.
How to tell if they’re in it for themselves (and super dark)
They don’t meet up
“All the matches, having hot people sliding into their DMs…it's less about finding a connection and more about getting attention and the validation that lots of people find them attractive,” says Burke. “They have no intention of meeting up. They’re just enjoying feeling desired.”
They fish for compliments
“Their messaging may look like courtship, but the ends justify the means,” explains Burke. For people with dark traits, ‘the ends’ are flattery, validation, and attention. “You may find that you inflate their ego through virtual flirtation, but they never actually connect with you because it's about them falling in love with themselves, ultimately.”
They string you along
“They might say they’re busy, they’ve been off the radar, or their mother’s sick. If they’re always making excuses, it could be evidence that they’re not being honest,” says Burke. “Honesty would look like, ‘It’s been lovely talking to you, but I'm actually on the app because I just broke it off with someone else.’ If it’s not honest, they may fudge it to keep things in a holding pattern but never progress.”
They’re overly sarcastic
Dark people may overuse irony and sarcasm, says Ingham. “Nothing wrong with a good sense of humor, but if we’re serious about using the apps we might help ourselves by looking out for those that aren’t.”
Most importantly, don’t be too hard on yourself
No matter how alert and cautious you are, you can’t protect yourself from ever coming across bad actors on dating apps. “Sometimes we expect too much of ourselves. We expect to be clinical psychologists and able to pick up on microscopic signals. Maybe we could if we weren’t romantically and sexually attracted to the person. But when attraction’s involved, it dulls our ability to pick up on signs,” Burke says.
If you let someone with dark traits slip through the net, don’t be too hard on yourself. “In retrospect, it’s easy to think, ‘I should’ve known.’ In actuality, it's not that simple. The only way to get to know a person is to spend time together, and with that comes getting more connected, invested, and attached.”
https://mashable.com/article/3-types-of-tinder-users