I think that writing-wise this is my favorite chapter so far. I have a soft spot for figurative language and imagery, and I think you used those devices quite skillfully this chapter in order to escalate the tension.
I like, for example: "...the machine finally spits out a thick white ticket." I think the violence/anger of the word 'spits' associated with something as mundane as a parking ticket machine conveys so well the heightened importance things take on during these kinds of conflicts. I also love the early paragraph where Veronica remembers the roof.
The details were also spot on. My favourite: " At either end, there is dense, scruffy landscaping badly in need of trimming or replanting. The building on the end, where we are, displays a large sign, 'For Rent', and the building next door advertises exotic dancers. Two doors down is a Chinese restaurant with one car in front, a bagel shop, and a check-cashing place." I can visualize it so well -- especially the check-cashing place detail and the Chinese food restaurant. One really gets an idea of the kind of place this is.
I appreciate that even during these high action sequences you take the time to get the details perfect and make the writing really sing.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2011-05-18 07:58 am (UTC)I like, for example: "...the machine finally spits out a thick white ticket." I think the violence/anger of the word 'spits' associated with something as mundane as a parking ticket machine conveys so well the heightened importance things take on during these kinds of conflicts. I also love the early paragraph where Veronica remembers the roof.
The details were also spot on. My favourite: " At either end, there is dense, scruffy landscaping badly in need of trimming or replanting. The building on the end, where we are, displays a large sign, 'For Rent', and the building next door advertises exotic dancers. Two doors down is a Chinese restaurant with one car in front, a bagel shop, and a check-cashing place." I can visualize it so well -- especially the check-cashing place detail and the Chinese food restaurant. One really gets an idea of the kind of place this is.
I appreciate that even during these high action sequences you take the time to get the details perfect and make the writing really sing.