VanessaGalore

Oooh, I love this chapter. Definitely my fave so far. First of all, you did a nice job of Veronica's point of view. At first I was on the fence, characterization-wise, but I think that is because i have a hard time with first-person Veronica. By the end I was really feeling the Ronnie-vibe, though :). I liked her choices with the drunken guys on the bus, and I was impressed with the anticipation you built. I also liked the details you included - it was an excellent balance. I get annoyed with paragraph after paragraph of detail. Usually I just want to get to the point. But you did a good job of using the description to drive the story.