I think scenes/chapters in which not much is going on as far as action are especially hard to write. It's difficult to keep the interest up and drive the narrative forward, but you've done a really good job of it. It's an amazing feat considering all the action that you've had up until this point as well, with Brown Suit Guy, etc, etc.
Your choice to have Keith resolving an issue over the phone was really smart, because not only does it keep the piece realistic and moving at a reasonable, logical space -- it also emphasizes the change in circumstances they've all undergone. I also like the difference between that very quiet, real-life scene verses Veronica's nightmare/paranoia scene. It helps us get into her head, I think, to see how her fears are not necessarily unjustified...but just in contrast to what's happening around her right now. It becomes evident how much she's hiding during the day in front of Keith and Logan. She can't hide from her subconscious, though.
I like how your author's note is almost as long as the chapter itself. I was surprised when I saw you credited me for betaing this. At any rate, very good work.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2011-08-23 12:06 am (UTC)Your choice to have Keith resolving an issue over the phone was really smart, because not only does it keep the piece realistic and moving at a reasonable, logical space -- it also emphasizes the change in circumstances they've all undergone. I also like the difference between that very quiet, real-life scene verses Veronica's nightmare/paranoia scene. It helps us get into her head, I think, to see how her fears are not necessarily unjustified...but just in contrast to what's happening around her right now. It becomes evident how much she's hiding during the day in front of Keith and Logan. She can't hide from her subconscious, though.
I like how your author's note is almost as long as the chapter itself. I was surprised when I saw you credited me for betaing this. At any rate, very good work.
-thomas